Mastery of love
by Don Miguel Ruiz summary
In The Mastery of Love, bestselling author don Miguel Ruiz illuminates the fear-based beliefs and assumptions that undermine love
and lead to suffering and drama in our relationships. Using insightful stories to bring his message to life, Ruiz shows us how to
heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that is our birthright, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital
to loving relationships. The Mastery of Love includes:
• Why "domestication" and the "image of perfection" lead to self-rejection.
• The war of control that slowly destroys most relationships.
• Why we hunt for love in others, and how to capture the love inside us.
• How to finally accept and forgive ourselves and others.
Happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of your love.
When you are aware that no one else can make you happy, and that happiness is the result of your love,
this becomes the greatest mastery of the Toltec: the Mastery of Love."
Additionally, Ruiz explains how all emotion and behavior can be divided into two categories, or tracks, the track of love and the track of fear. When living in the track of love our thoughts and actions are positive expressions related to love –respect, honesty, justice, kindness, compassion, freedom, taking responsibility, etc. Compare this to the track of fear, which is pervasive in the collective dream. Everything done in this track is fear based –guilt, blame, envy, anger, hate, jealousy, sadness, etc.
This book really speaks towards the way society can implant negative thoughts on us, and how we can be
raised to believe them. We are all born innocent and full of love, and somewhere along the way we learn
how to be distrustful, and how to be hurt, and to be hurtful in return. Our parents learned this while
they grew, and they (along with the rest of society) then teach it to us as we grow up, and the cycle
continues ever onward.
Key Takeaways
-You can't find happiness if fear rules your life.
-Don't let your belief system (partly family inherited) and programming (Social/cultural conditioning) rule your life. You want to dream your own dreams, not somebody else's.
-Forgiveness makes you happier, as cleans out the poison in your emotional body.
-In a couple, the only half you can control is you.
-We perceive the world with the eyes of our emotions. If they are dirty, we see a dirty world. If you see it rosy, rosy it is.
-If you don't accept your body as it is, you are disrespecting yourself, you become insecure and an easy pray to your own and everybody
else's criticism. Physical beauty is just an ever-changing idea that means nothing.
-Nothing that your partner does is personal. Your partner is dealing with her own garbage. If you don't take it personally,
it will be so easy for you to have a wonderful relationship with your partner.
-You must forgive those who hurt you, even if whatever they did to you is unforgivable in your mind. You will forgive them not because
they deserve to be forgiven, but because you don’t want to suffer and hurt yourself every time you think about them.
-The happiest moments in our lives are when we are playing just like children, when we are singing and dancing, when we are exploring and creating just for fun.